The Letter I Wrote To A Broken Man

Every day I get lots of emails from readers asking me how to solve a major life issue.

I got one last week and realized that my advice is often the same. I thought that it might be easier to write my advice about how to stop being so broken. That way, every time I get one of these emails I can point people to it.

Here’s the advice I gave this broken man that wrote to me:

 

1. Find someone who is going to change your thinking

This man had a whole list of problems that he tried to tell me were impossible to solve. He listed them in such detail and made each one sound beyond impossible to solve. He was hoping that he would bamboozle me and that I’d reply and say “Mate you’re right, those problems are impossible to solve and I can’t help you.”

The first step I always tell these so called “broken people” is that they need to get out of their head. They’ve become obsessed with their challenges and they need to interrupt their thinking. The easiest and quickest way to do this is to find someone to change your thinking.

To make this broken man’s life easy, I gave him the answer of who to start with. He needed a rapid change of thinking and the best person I know to do this is Tony Robbins. Now I could have let him find his own person to assist, but it would have ended up becoming another excuse.

What he needed to hear was something radically different to the story that he’d memorized and become an expert narrator in. Tony sure knows how to change the way you think and slap you in the face when you need it. This is always the beginning.

 

2. Quit your job

This broken man blamed a lot of his problems on his job. This is common in all the letters I get from people who think they’re broken. They all have an issue that stems from what they do for a living.

What’s crazy is that your job or business is your decision. If you don’t like the result, then quit. It’s not rocket science; it’s just the reality.

“Quitting something you hate is the best decision you’ll ever make”

You can always find another source of income. The best thing about quitting is that you’ll be forced to find a new way to make a living pretty quickly so you can pay your bills.

Make it a slow transition if you need to, but just know that you must quit. Don’t let anything piss you off anymore. Stop doing what you don’t love. If your work doesn’t light you up, then quit!

 

3. Failing a lot is good. Stop being afraid.

My friend, the broken man, tried to tell me that he was failing a lot. I stood up in my seat and gave him a metaphorical round of applause (he obviously couldn’t see me do this). If you’re failing a lot, then that’s the best bloody news I’ve ever heard! Don’t be down about it; be excited about it.

This means your giving it a go and taking action. That’s better than 99% of other people who are doing nothing and sitting on the couch hoping to get lucky. You’ll eventually find a way if you keep failing. It’s inevitable.

Being afraid is unnecessary and it’s delusional. You’re not supposed to know exactly what to do and no one who is successful does.

“You’re supposed to take action, and then learn from the outcomes and adjust the sails of your ship as you go”

 

4. Go and volunteer at a homeless shelter

I’ve said this one a lot because I’ve personally found it very effective – In fact, I was just at the homeless shelter again last week. It’s the idea that you need to see problems far bigger than your own. I’ve never seen anyone walk into a homeless shelter and spend a day there, who hasn’t come out the other side with a new way of looking at life.

You’re forced into helping others and you do whatever you can because many of the people you’ll meet are beyond desperate. In reality, your problems are not desperate where as there’s is. Once you’ve seen the worst there is to see, then you’ll be able to break your pattern of misery.

 

5. Your problems are the same

This broken man was so stuck in his circumstances that he couldn’t see the rest of the world. He stopped seeing the hardships that others are going through and he somehow believed the lie that he was the only one facing these problems. I told him something he didn’t expect: “Your problems are the same as every other email I get.”

This was true. Every email I get with these so-called “impossible challenges” is the same. It’s the same issue with a different character playing the lead role of the story. Your problems are not unique or special. Your problems yesterday were vanilla and my problems today are strawberry. They’re all flavors of the same milkshake.

 

6. You’re being selfish

The last very blunt thing I said to this broken man (out of love and respect) was: “You’re being selfish.” I told him that his entire story was about him and his own selfish desires.

Nowhere in the story was there room for anybody else. Nowhere in the story was there a purpose to unite people, or serve people or give something to someone. It was all just about him and how important he was and how he must have all the answers.

“The way you become broken in the first place is when you’re 100% focused on yourself”

Selfishness is at the heart of so many life problems. It’s not all about you, you know. I’d go as far as saying that you should make your life about much more than you.

Once you move away from being entirely selfish, new opportunities start to find their way to you. These opportunities are not luck; these opportunities are the result of you moving beyond just caring about yourself. Until you give a damn about other people, you’re going to continue to be broken.

You started to become broken in the first place when you forgot about everyone else and became obsessed with yourself. Kill the obsession and you’ll find the answer to your dreams.

These are the things I told this young man. These are the same tools you can use if you feel broken.

If you want to increase your productivity and learn some more valuable life hacks, then join my private mailing list on timdenning.net

Keep Showing Up, Keep Giving 100% – No Matter What! (Motivational Video)

You owe it to yourself to become as great as you can, in this very short life you are living. To go to the end with no regrets.

Keep Showing Up, Keep Giving 100% – No Matter What! (Motivational Video)

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Download or Stream To ANY DEVICE, Worldwide: iTunesGooglePlayAmazonMP3SpotifyApple Music
Lyrics, Music, Speech: Copyright: Fearless Motivation
Speakers:  Chris Ross

Keep Showing Up, Keep Giving 100% – No Matter What! (Motivational Video by Fearless Motivation) – WATCH FREE:

Transcript – Keep Showing Up, Keep Giving 100% – No Matter What! (Motivational Video) | Fearless Motivation

Keep showing up.
If no one invests in you.
INVEST IN YOURSELF.
If no one believes in you: BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.
Even if you don’t see the results right away
:
Keep showing up until you do see the results.
Even if you don’t say the results for a very, very long time…
KEEP SHOWING UP!

What if the results don’t come?
They’re not going to come if you quit.
 KEEP SHOWING UP!

I’m tired…
KEEP SHOWING UP!

I don’t feel like it…
KEEP SHOWING UP!

I’m can’t see any results…
KEEP SHOWING UP!

I don’t know where to start
JUST START.
DO SOMETHING!
Take that first step.
Every step you take adds up.
And sooner or later, you’ll lack back and see you’re at the top of that staircase.

It doesn’t matter if you can’t see the top from where you are.
Just know that if you keep climbing…
If you keep learning HOW you can get to that next level
You will soon be exactly where you need to be.

If you quit.
If you never start climbing.
If you never take that first step.
You’ll never get there.
And you’ll forever live in regret.
People don’t make it because they quit.
 FULL STOP.

They say they tried “everything”
… Sure they tried everything…
 They tried everything but sticking it out.
 They tried everything but COURAGE to keep going.
 They tried everything but SHOWING HEART when things got hard.

They did TRY QUITTING… 
Winners DO NOT QUIT
!
They show up.
 Rain hail or shine.
 They show up
when it works, when it’s hard.
 They show up every single damn time!
And that…
that right there is the difference. 
Keep showing up.

RAIN HAIL OR SHINE: 
SUCCESS IS MINE!
Hard or easy, slow or long
: SUCCESS IS MINE!

Feel like it, don’t feel like it
: SUCCESS IS MINE
Failure, setbacks, naysayers… 
SUCCESS IS MINE
!

keep showing up

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keep showing up

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How to Follow a Healthy Mental Diet

You’re reading How to Follow a Healthy Mental Diet, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’re enjoying this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Yon Cassius has a lean and hungry look.
-Shakespeare, “Julius Caesar”

I’ve never liked the word or concept of “diet”, because it implies something that’s temporary.

In fact, let’s put this eating plan into action, you make it permanent and rename it.

Come on over for a meal.

1-Healthy Conditions for Food Preparation and Enjoyable Dining

I started planning today’s “food” by consulting yesterday’s diary, my recipe book.

Yesterday went well, with the right mix of ingredients, good preparation, mindful eating, productivity, rest, and exercise.

Come on in.

A well-lit, spacious, uncluttered kitchen and eating area are a must.

Emptiness is the most surprising beneficial quality of mind that I’ve ever found.

So, let’s sit and be mindful. If your mind is empty, it is also well-lit, with new thoughts and feelings easily spotted.

An empty mind provides a clean and dry floor so that cook and diner keep their balance.

The cook needs to be attentive and observant.

Not judgmental, not critical, just observant.

Remember, this is a meal together, but it’s also a template for daily healthy living

2-Protein

These elements don’t have to be in any particular order.

Mindful productivity is the protein or fuel of mental activity, keeping off procrastination on the one hand and obsessive activity on the other.

The chef needs to be attentive for maximum preparation, and the diner needs to eat slowly
Chew the protein, observe the bites mindfully, enjoy healthy activity.

Of course, part of this mental protein is regular exercise plus necessary tasks.

3-Carbohydrates

Take the plate, please.

Creativity is essential for sustenance, and its equivalent in the eating world is whole grains.
This class of food that satisfies, but, due to the difficulty in breaking it down, it helps keep off weight and provides essential fuels.

Contemplation, structured or not, are the fruits and vegetables of the diet, yielding essential nutrients and the healthiest forms of sugar.

4-Fats

Don’t be put off by the idea of fats.

Fats are extremely important.

They provide insulation and temperature regulation.

Fats provide energy, plus, they aid in absorbing vitamins and producing hormones.

In terms of living, authentic emotion comprises the fat of a balanced mental diet.

Too much fat, in the form of inauthentic emotion, forces our psychic body to work too hard to be healthy and perform its required tasks.

Meanwhile, the stifling of authentic emotion produces defensive thinking, cutting us off from experiencing life directly.

5-Vitamins

Pick up the bottle, and take out three of them. I’ve checked the dosage, so don’t worry.

Here’s some useful information.

Vitamins come mostly from the food we eat, so the better we eat, the more we’ll take in the vitamins we need.

Vitamins are the experience, (Remember, I had you take three above!) the sum of our actions, our history, and our creativity.

6-Water

Hand me your glass…thanks.

Liquids and especially water are essential for health.

After all, 80% of our body is water. Thoughts are our water.

Sometimes it seems as if 80% of our experience is taken up with thought.

Water (not just ANY liquid) provides the best kind of healthy regulation of the body.

So, observed thought and productive thought that enhance intelligence and habit are psychological water.

Avoid the sugary sweet or intoxicating liquids of obsession, fear, or anxiety.

7-The Act of Eating

Okay, let’s sit for a moment and consider all that we’ve consumed.

Healthy eating requires mindful chewing and enjoyment of this balanced diet.

Both cook and diner must be patient and open to the experience.

Healthy companionship and relationships maximize a balanced life.

I hope you enjoyed sharing this meal; I enjoyed having you.

Sharing our gifts, like sharing food, is vital to helping both others as well as our own growth.

When we are “full” in a healthy way, we must note that observation and cease consumption.

8-Cleaning Up

While we enjoy the eating of life easily, we are reluctant to “clean up”.

As a result, some spiritual practices are hard.
But “cleaning up” requires forgiveness of others, repentance, self-sacrifice, and looking carefully at emotions such as anger and frustration.

So, when it comes to living, follow a balanced “eating” regime.
Call it whatever you wish, but eat follow a healthy psychic diet for the rest of your days.

Eat well, and be happy.


Lars Nielsen has decades of experience helping individuals and businesses discover and share their core message. Whatever your message or audience, grab his “Make YOUR Message Matter Cheat Sheet” (http://www.makemessagematter.com/) and put his time-tested techniques to work immediately.

You’ve read How to Follow a Healthy Mental Diet, originally posted on Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement. If you’ve enjoyed this, please visit our site for more inspirational articles.

Self-Care idea #243: Release your tensions

SELF-CARE ACT#243

release your tensions

CATEGORY

Physical

}

TIME

10 minutes

BUDGET

Zero

Yesterday, I did bridge pose to release my tensions.

What tensions?

Would you believe me if I told you I can’t remember?

Right now, I’m facing a pond, watching ducks and listening to birds in the trees. 

In a distance, 2 donkeys are braying. 

It’s almost sunset and I just took a yoga class with my sister and two friends.

The sky is orange. It’s hard to describe. Not a bright vivid orange. A salmony and cloudy one. 

The setting sun smoothens the surface of everything: palm and bougainvillea trees, reeds. It looks like it has bled onto the whole nature around me.

The muezzin is calling for prayer.

The gardens’ lights of the little lodge we’re at have just been turned on. They look like lanterns floating in a green, pink and orange sky.

It’s taking me forever to write this post because I can’t keep my eyes on my screen in this dreamy scenery.

How can I feel so relaxed when I felt so stressed yesterday? How can it seem so far I can’t remember why?

My friends, I really don’t know how are our minds works. But this change of state of mind tells me a very important thing. Something I know and I tend to forget when I’m under pressure, in the heat of my everyday life.

Feeling overwhelmed when we’re busy is normal. But it’s a temporary feeling linked to a specific situation. Not a permanent condition. Not a deep one. It’s something in the surface and it’s shouldn’t affect me like it does.

Next time I feel stress, I’ll do bridge pose because it helps a lot. But my self care act will be to remind myself of the intrinsic impermanence nature of our feelings.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to peacefully watch my stress fade away like the sun’s colors on today’s sky.

WHY IS IT SELF-CARE?  Tension releaf, energizy, calm and stretching are some of the benefits you can get from bridge pose.

MORE ABOUT THIS

My friends, here is a 9-min great video by Adrienne, a famous Youtuber and yoga teacher.

She will teach you how to get and stay in bridge pose.

Cool and easy. 

Follow me here and get notifications when I post my acts 🙂

4 Little Things that Will Matter a Lot More to You in 40 Years

4 Little Things that Will Matter a Lot More to You in 40 Years

God willing, you’ll be gifted another 40 years of life experience.

But even if you aren’t, the core principle of this article remains relevant:

As you age, you’ll learn to value your time, genuine relationships, meaningful work, and peace of mind, much more.  Little else will matter.

Deep down you know this already, right?

Yet today, just like the majority of us, you are distracted by everything else.

You give too much of your time to (more…)